Monday, September 28, 2009

(Chinese) How to be Stronger and a better Person ...

This is an article from 左岸读书_blog There are many things that reflects the certain quality of a person. And once you master it, there is always a good chance to be a good person. Always aim to be a good person, but not too perfect, as that is always the high target to set. Happy reading!

读懂人生的第一步

这些不是真理,却可以让我们更懂得人生。

1、庸人败于惰,能人败于傲

世上两种人必定惨败,一种是懒惰之人,另一种是骄傲之人。前者什么事都想在“明日”再做,结果总是一事无成;后者瞧不起天下所有人,自认为自己最聪明,常常招来他人的不满和怨恨,于是往往受人诋毁、咒骂,最后被恶意的诽谤所吞没。

2、不必一味讨好别人

讨好每一个人是不可能的,也是没有必要的。讨好每一个人,等于得罪每一个人。刻意去讨好别人,只会使别人产生厌恶。亲近别人要自然,“投机”心态要改变。有时间讨好,不如踏踏实实做事,讨好别人总是靠不住,自己努力才实实在在。


3、好心境是自己创造的

我们常常无法去改变别人的看法,能改变的恰恰只有我们自己。坏的生活不在于别人的罪恶,而在于我们的心情变得恶劣。让生活变好的金钥匙不在别人手里,放 弃我们的怨恨和叹息,美好生活就垂手可得。我们主观上本想好好生活,可是客观上却没有好的生活,其原因是总想等待别人来改善生活。不要指望改变别人,自己 做生活的主人。


4、用心做自己该做的事

人生是如此的短暂,哪有心思去浪费呢?有智慧的哲人曾经说过:“大街上有人骂我,我是连头也不回的,根本不想知道这个无聊之人!”我们既不要去伤害人家,也不要被别人的批评左右,还是按照自己的愿望,先踏踏实实学好本领再说。特别在少年时要全力以赴学本领,不要分心。

5、别总是自己跟自己过不去

学会自己欣赏自己,等于拥有了获取快乐的金钥匙.欣赏自己不是孤芳自赏,欣赏自己不是唯我独尊,欣赏自己不是自我陶醉,欣赏自己更不是固步自封…自己给 自己一些自信,自己给自己一点愉快,自己给自己一脸微笑,何愁没有人生的快乐呢?!经常要自己给自己过节,学会寻找愉悦的心情。

6、不要追逐世俗的荣誉

终生寻找所谓别人认可的东西,会永远痛失自己的快乐和幸福。庸俗的评论会湮灭自己的个性,世俗的指点会让自己不知所措。为钱而钱会使自己六亲不认,为权 而权会使自己胆大妄为,为名而名会使自己巧取强夺。真实的我在刻意的追逐之中,会变成一张张碎片随风飘扬,世俗的我已变得面目可憎。

7、极端不可取

有些人常常因为忧虑过度,而导致自己精神失常;有些人却因为麻木不仁,造成自己对任何事情都无动于衷。前者常为寻找理性而痛苦,因聪明过头而衰亡,愚蠢的根源在于什么都懊悔。后者不知悔恨为何物,整天稀里糊涂地生活,活着与死去没有什么区别.

8、每个人都有自己的活法

自己的伤痛自己清楚,自己的哀怨自己明白,自己的快乐自己感受。也许自己眼中的地狱,却是别人眼中的在堂;也许自己眼中的天堂,却是别人眼中的地狱。生活就是这般的滑稽。不要总疑春色在人家,关键在于自己心态的调整。

9、喜欢自己才会拥抱生活

盲目自大自尊,是骄傲无知的人生,一味自暴自弃,是消极悲观的人生。了解自己比了解别人更困难,喜欢自己比喜欢别人更不容易。拥有健康的恰当的自尊心 理,面对挫折会表现得格外坚强。不为外界的诱惑而丢失自我,不为一时的挫折否定自己。时时客观冷静地评价自己,每每乐观中肯地赞赏自己。若连自己都不爱, 还能爱别人吗?喜欢自己吧!

10、福中有祸,祸中有福

莫被一时之得失冲昏头脑,一味陶醉于暂时的胜利。自己一定要居安思危,切莫居功自傲,洋洋得意。陶醉胜利,意味着驻足停顿,陶醉胜利,意味着失去警惕。 人生路上要永不松懈,胜利仅仅是一个小小的路标。要想取得最后的胜利,只要努力,努力,再努力。莫为一时之得所迷惑,谁笑得最晚,谁笑得最开心。

11、重要的是活得充实

把每一天过好是最大的幸福,快乐源于每天的感觉良好。总忧虑明天的风险,总抹不去昨天的阴影,今天的生活怎能如意?总攀比那些不可攀比的,总幻想那些不 能实现的,今天的心灵怎能安静?任何不切实际的东西,都是痛苦之源,生命的最大杀手是忧愁和焦虑。痛苦源于不充实,生活充实就不会胡思乱想。

12、愉悦的根基在自己身上

一般人总是将人生的愉悦,寄托在外界的事务上,依附于世俗的认同上。百般看重地位、财产,以及待遇、名誉等东西,自己一旦失去这些,便是沉重的打击,常 会痛不欲生,其幸福和快乐的根基也随之毁灭。假如自己真是这样过生活,那么快乐离我们是相当遥远的。为什么要让别人来评价自己的快乐程度,把握好自己。

13、感觉幸福就是幸福

许多人都在刻意追求所谓的幸福;有的虽然得到了,其代价却巨大无比。许多哲人都说,幸福是种感觉,就如同“佛”就在你我心中。幸福的感觉随满足程度而递 减,与人的心境、心态密切相关。先哲们说:得之愈艰、爱之愈深,拥有幸福,常思艰难。一个人总是感觉不到幸福,是自己的最大悲哀。幸福是种感觉,不知足, 永不会幸福…

14、别人的恩泽要牢记

目光短浅的人总是“忘恩负义”,危机时到处求助,事成之后再不露面。求人时信誓旦旦,得逞后胡作非为。这种人最被人鄙视。“忘恩负义”让朋友伤心,“忘恩负义”是急功近利的表现。“忘恩负义”只得益于一时,却会永远失信于人。切忌过河拆桥过河拆桥,会断了自己的后路。

15、凡事要留有余地

每一个人都会在自己的生命旅程中,遭遇到完全不同的“三种人”。第一种是能够理解、欣赏和器重自己的人;第二种是曲解、中伤甚至排斥自己的人;第三种人 是与自己毫无关系、无关痛痒的人。第一种人对自己有知遇之恩,应当尊为师友,滴水之恩当涌泉相报。第二种人对自己造成深深的伤害,需要智慧地远离,而不是 烦恼和计较。对于第三种人要以礼相待、和平共处。了解不同的人,区别对待,物以类聚,人以群分。

16、己所不欲勿施于人,己所欲施于人

把自己的主观意志强加于人,于己于人均是件痛苦的事情。以自己的威严强加自己的意志,别人只是口服而心不服,而且日久必生反抗之习。以自己的固执强加自 己的意志,别人仅是默忍或是隐怒,但是日久也可能反目成仇。检讨自己的言行是否与社会和谐,才能真正得到别人的认同。人与人是不可能一致的,不要以我为中 心。

17、得意不忘形,失意不失态

身处顺境必须格外谨慎,否则容易乐极生悲。人生得意的时候容易忘形,一忘形就不知道自己姓什么,于是恶念和恶行就会趁隙而入。身处逆境必须格外忍耐,否 则容易早早夭折。人生失意的时候容易失态,一失态就不知道自己的未来,于是消极和绝望就会趁隙而入。笑看人生潮起潮落,守住自己的心。

18、人生应当欢乐有度

适当的娱乐活动能调节情绪,无休无止的欢乐却易转益为害。物极则反,数穷则变。“大凡快意处,即是多病处。”“棋可遣闲,易动心火。…”一味狂欢尽兴是 肤浅的人生,换来的往往是痛苦的悔恨。尽兴有度是达观的人生。乐极生悲不局限于娱乐方面,涉及到人生的方方面面。欢乐与悲哀是伴生的,欢乐有度会使欢乐常 伴。

19、一味忍让不可取

一味忍让,意味着丧失原则;一味忍让,意味着没有人格;一味忍让,意味着软弱可欺;一味忍让,意味着面临步步进逼的危险;一味忍让,意味着将走入绝路。 有时候挺身而起、奋力反抗效果更好,得寸进尺是愚人常采用的计策,一再忍让反而助长其嚣张气焰。该出手时就出手,给点厉害也是不得已而为之!对得寸进尺者 该迎头痛击,忍让不一定是好事。

20、多理性行事少意气用事

做事不能只凭自己的感情,做事更不能只凭自己的感觉,意气用事必有麻烦。有时自己的知觉是错的,事情并不是想象的这般简单,表象总是容易迷惑人心。理性 做事不至于反复折腾,理性做事不会出现大的差错,理性做事才不会使自己后悔莫及。切记:凡事都不能太冲动!不能只跟着感觉走,多思考才能不后悔。

Saturday, September 26, 2009

The Pomegranate Magic

I think It was October where we decided to go ahead to "try" to produce a baby Ox (Year 2009 is Ox year). It is close to year end, and bosses are chasing for numbers, stress came from all over places... So, like most of the modern days human couples, the first few tries failed to deliver. The same goes to one of our good couple friend. They too are trying...

It was Christmas season, and it was time to shop for presents. One fine day, I walked into the WOFS (World Of Feng Shui) shop at Vivo, and I've got an idea. I asked the Feng Shui Consultant there, "Is there any thing that I can display, and raise the confidence of making baby?" Then, he brought me to this corner, and show me the this...

IMG_0833.JPG


Pomegranate (abstract from http://www.wofs.com
)

The pomegranate is a wonderfully auspicious fruit. An average fruit is slightly bigger than a baseball, it comes in various Yang shades ranging from yellows to reds. When opened up, it reveals plenty of sweet, fleshy seeds. This symbolizes the luck of many offspring, which is why the pomegranate fruit is regarded as a symbol of fertility. It is said to create the kind of descendants' luck that gives you many sons, all filial and respectable, with a successful future ahead of them.

The auspicious pomegranate also symbolizes a happy family that is blessed with good and filial children who will each grow up to bring honor and glory to the family. When a mother eats a pomegranate fruit during the New Year, it is said that she can expect to give birth to sons during the course of the year.

pomegranate2.jpg pomegranate.jpg

Many Chinese parents advise their young newly-wed second generation to display a painting or a carving of a pomegranate in their bedroom to create the luck of having many healthy children.

Without any doubts, I bought two back. Wrapped it up and one gave to my wife, and the other gave to the Tang's family (our good couple friend). We all had fun at a house warming + Christmas party at the Lee's mansion. I gave the present to Tang family, and told them to place this at the table beside the bed, and don't ask me any question.

It was New Year Eve, and we have decided to have another party at Tang's place this time. I brought my Sony HandyCam, and recorded down everybody's new year wishes. As you can guessed, our wish is to have a baby girl. So as the Tangs family.

In Feb 2009, just before another couple friend - The Teng & Toh's engagement proposal party, we found out that the pomegranate works, and both my wife and Mrs. Tang are pregnant, and the due dates is 3 days apart.

Baby Kay is born on August 21 (pre-matured), and Baby Justin is born on September 22 (full 40 weeks term).

IMG_0498.jpg terrencejustin.jpg

So, here is my conclusion... The pomegranate was a funny gifts. So, when a couple receive it, first they will ask "why receive such weird present...", then, they will start making fun, "hey, look, what does this looks like, looks like two balls dangling below, hahahahahah", then, the mood comes, and then, the pomegranate magic begun....

Don't believe, go buy one and display it beside your bed! FYI, all the WoFS shop in Singapore run out of stocks for this item. Good luck!

A day @ Central Fire Station

If your kid wakes up early on Saturday morning, and don't know where to bring him... Here is a great place -Central Fire Station.

You can park your car at Funan Center and simply cross the road from there. The open house is from 9am to 12 noon.





You got to be there early as the highlight is to sit in the bucket and the will bring you up to as high as 8 storeys. Of course, there will always be a long queue
That is why you need to go early.





See me and Jay up in the sky...






Then you get to play with the water gun.





You get to see firemen jumping down, take pictures with fire engines, and lots more... It's fun and kids are learning all the things about fire fighting... It will be a great trip for them...





Lastly don't forget to visit the fire musuem just beside the fire station and get some sovenir...


-- Post From My iPhone

Sunday, September 20, 2009

The J-K Room

Its been a month that baby Kay has moved in with Jay. The very first thing you do is to rename the kid's room as soon as possible. Yes, we named the room as "Jay Room" when Jay Jay was born, this is to let Jay Jay to know that the room belong to him only at that time. That was in the past. Now, the two brothers have to bunk in the same room. Even if you have enough room, you still need to put them together, it is said that their bonding will be strengthen when they live together. So, we have to rename the room. It is now called the "Jay-Kay Room".

IMG_0704.jpg

(Scene #1)

Jay: Why baby Kay come to my room? Can baby Kay sleep outside, can?

PaPa: Of course no. And this is not your room. See, this is not "Jay
Room" anymore. It is now called "Jay-Kay Room". So, baby Jay sleep here.

Jay: Oh. (he understood).



So, I guess we are successful in this. We do noticed that Jay know use lesser "my room", "Jay Jay room", instead, he says "the room".




(Scene #2)

Jay was sleeping soundly... It is 2AM in the morning. baby Kay was hungry, and started to make some noise...

Jay: (I believe still in his sleeping mode) Mommy... why baby Kay 很吵(noisy) ...

Both PaPa and mommy smile... and said...
PaPa: It's OK Jay. Baby Kay is still a baby...

Jay: (silent and went back to deep sleep mode)...



This happened on the first week the two brother sharing the room, and mommy have to feed the baby 8-12 times a day of breast milk... So, in out the room many times.

We are happy that Jay now has adapted to the slightly noisy environment. And he can maintain his sleeping mode. That is the greatest thing.



(Scene #3)

Jay promise grandma that when baby Kay is back, he is going to give the Pacifier away to baby Kay.

Grandma: Jay Jay, you promised ah-Ma that you give the Pacifier to baby Kay. So, ah-Ma keep all these Pacifier liao, ok?

Jay: (reluctantly) OK.



Ever since, Jay Jay never use the Pacifier again. And he never ask for it again too. This is also another great thing. Otherwise, he will still need to suck the Pacifier to sleep.



(Scene #4)

jaykay.jpg

Kay: (nguweh... mguwah....nwah... crying)

Jay: (run to beside of Kay, use his hand slowly pad baby Kay) London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down, London bridge is falling down, mmmy var...ye ye (muffled, forgot lyrics)...




It is amazing how Jay Jay has become mature on his thinking process. He has accepted baby Kay into his family. And he has been very good to baby Kay. And he always say "I love baby Kay"...

Conclusion... making baby can be easy, but raising the kid is a different story. Sometimes, you are OK with raising one kid, but when you have another, then, you are the chemist. And your job is to make sure that the two can mix well, and no smoke and no explosion when mix them together. The result of the mixture has to be warm and harmony. It is a challenging job, and you can do it without thinking about it. May failed some times, but must have great patient to carry out this. I guess this is life.

Work for Nothing? 穷忙族的10大特征


1。一天工作超过9小时,但是看不到前途;

2。一年内未曾加薪;

3。三年内未曾升职;

4。薪水很低,月月都要勒紧裤腰带;

5。积蓄少,无力置产;

6。越忙越穷,越穷越抠;

7。退休养老没保障;

8。老是计划干一番事业,但总是忙不完手里的事情;

9。白天工作,晚上回到家还得工作;

10。收入虽不低,但内心没有安全感。

以上10项,如果你有3项或者3项以上,你已然迈入“穷忙族”的大军了!

(by Xilei)

A very well said. We should always come back and re-look at these 10 items over and over again. And make sure you don't match 3 or above items.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Tributes to my Uncle Kwong Hua

I was sad when I hear that my uncle Kwong Hua has passed away
this morning (Sep-18-2009). Here is a nice little poem I found...

pablo-picasso-petite-fleurs.jpg


MY DEAR UNCLE

So many thoughts,

in my head.

So many things,

left unsaid.

You left that day,

without a glance.

Never knowing God,

wasn't giving you a second chance.

What was in your head,

the last moments you had.

I hope you though happy thoughts,

and not sad.

No one can evertake your place.

Your image in my heartwill never erase.

As you smile one me from up above.

My mind is still sadbut my heart is filled with love.

I love you dear uncle you meant the world to me.

I'll always make you proud of me you will see.



(by Michelle May Hickman, USA)


I have not have much time to spent with uncle Kwong Hua. He is the elder uncle of the family. He has migrated to Vancouver, Canada many many years ago.

When my dad passed away in 1989, I knew that I have to get a degree in college in order to move on. Dad did not leave me too much fortune. But I made up my mind to go to Canada to continue my studies. I earned a scholarship to study there, using my dad's pensions to buy a one way ticket to get there.

I have selected to study my E.E degree in Memorial University of Newfoundland. That is the only place where I can study and work legally in Canada. Had to say goodbye to McGill and McMaster, as I need to work to pay my tuition fees and livings. Of course, the money I earned back then is just enough to cover both the tuition fees and living expenses.

Somehow, uncle Kwong Hua gets to know about my situation, and he has very generously send me $200 pocket money every month until I graduate. That is a lot of money to me back then. It is this money that keep me warm, and keep my stomach full. It is this money that makes me work hard and finally graduate from the university. Without the aid, I can't imagine what kind of life I will be living in.

Thank you uncle Kwong Hua for your kindness. I will always remember the deeds that you have done. I will always remember you in my heart. Without you, there might not be a Kenneth Liew today. So, thank you again, and rest in peace.




Saturday, September 12, 2009

Who Moved My Cheese?

I read the book many years ago... a very good book by Spencer Johnson... That was during the days where conflicts and office politics suddenly has arise from almost all angles... I have learned a lot from the book, and I can say I grew up with it... I think I will not become the Kenliew today if I have not read this book...

Today, I would like to recommend this book to all my friends who is currently riding the same boat as I am... The essence of the book is as followed:

Change Happens


They Keep Moving The Cheese

Anticipate Change


Get Ready For The Cheese To Move

Monitor Change


Smell The Cheese Often So You Know When It Is Getting Old

Adapt To Change Quickly


The Quicker You Let Go Of Old Cheese, The Sooner You Can Enjoy New Cheese

Change


Move With The Cheese

Enjoy Change!


Savor The Adventure And Enjoy The Taste Of New Cheese!

Be Ready To Change Quickly And Enjoy It Again & Again


They Keep Moving The Cheese.

WhoMovedMyCheeseCover.jpg

So, you fell in love with the book already? Make sure you get a copy and read it. It is really good. It's available everywhere. :)

Remember, whatever that does not kill you today, will only making you stronger!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

iPhone App: "Augury" - the Stick Fortune Teller 大签世界

In the past, I always involved in companies buying others... doing a lot of due diligence and integration work, etc... This time round, it is the other way...

Just for fun, I found this iPhone App... "Augury", which is the stick fortune teller. You know whenever you visit a temple, there are people sitting in the middle in front of the GuanYin Goddess and shaking the fortune sticks... Usually asking whether such and such can pass the exam and graduate successfully from school or other matters?

Now, you need not to go to the temple anymore... Welcome to the age of iPhone... There is an App for that. Want to know about your current luck? Shake your iPhone, try this Chinese thousands of years' fortune-telling method... Go find your answer...

I found mine... :) I asked... whether I will be fired or not.... Well the answer I got is....

qiuqian.jpg

basically it is regard as a good fortune... so, my future is bright, and I can see the light at the other end of the tunnel... :)

Go and download and play... This is just a fun App hor, and it is your descretion whether to believe it 100% or not... ok? Good luck everyone...
Wahahahahahahahaha

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Jamu and the Post Natal Massage

IMG_0542.jpg

After a natural birth, my wife recover very fast. The milk supply is great, the feeling is great, and now it is the time to clear some wind in the stomach. Jenny has known Boon for many years, and she also came to our house 10 days last time after Jay was born.

So, this time, Jenny came and do the post massage for Boon. And It is the first time I learned that she uses Jamu (a Javanese herbal remedies) to massage and then wrapped the stomach for the night. It started on the eight day, and lasted for 7-10 days.

The unique herbal remedies from Indonesia, which evidently potent to cure anything for many centuries.

Javanese calls Jamu for herbal remedies, without chemist material as additive. Jamu has traditional connotation, because Jamu is ancient tradition, before modern pharmacology comes in Indonesia. Some formulas have a hundred years old and are used until now.

Fated to Love You

Through out the last few years, I seldom have the time, or the interest to watch Taiwanese TV series or any series. The last time that I spent time to watch a TV series with my wife was 大长今 and 小娘惹, one of the nicest and addicted show. Especially 大长今, that was during when Jay was born. 小娘惹 was something that you hear in office, on the street, almost every one is watching that show... not a bad show from Singapore.

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This time, after Kay is born, and Mommy have to feed baby Kay 8-12 times a day... so, one fine day, we suddenly watch this show on one of the Starhub channel, and even is only one episode, we wanted to find out how Chun Xi and Xing Yi met on the board, and what happen to them after...

So, I downloaded all the episode to my Apple TV, and we watch the show almost every night non-stop... It is a funny show and we enjoy it so much. This is a perfect show to kill time and a recommendation for those who just had baby too... It is very touching too...

I love the Xing Yi character, and Chun Xi is very funny. I hate Anna and Dylon character. Anson the personal assistant is so funny too. I still left with 4-5 episodes... and I enjoy almost all the episodes, and the writer of the story really now how to write the stories...


Thursday, September 3, 2009

Jay & the Thunder Story

Since young, Jay has been very afraid of thunder. Especially those that is very loud during the night time. Mommy will always allow Jay to sleep on our bed and try to calm him down.

When Mommy was in hospital the other night before baby Kay was born, Jay was stuck with me. And during night, thunder storm came. It was very loud, and lasted for a long time. As expected, Jay entered my room, with his two hands covering his ear, crying ... complaining about the loud thunder... He wanted to sleep in my room, and he does not dare to go back to his room...

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What should I do... I cannot let him have this habit.. he have to learned how to be independent...

Then I start mumbling in my mouth... "Why the Airplanes and Helicopters still flying so late...."

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HUH? Precisely, this is what Jay was thinking... I am not talking directly to him, he knew that, and he knew I am complaining too. And I am speaking to myself....

Jay stopped crying and look at me...

I open the windows, and look into the sky... then I mumbled again... "So late, so dark, and the helicopter have to fly so low... why they have to fly at night... we all have to sleep"...

Jay then asked... "PaPa, this is Airplane and Helicopter???"

"Yes Jay, I don't know why the government wants the Airplane to fly at night, especially this one, they fly very low, and very close to the roof, that is why it is so loud..."

"OHHHHHHHHH I know already"....

So, I managed to bring him back to his room, and sleep with him there in his room...

Suddenly... the loud loud thunder strike again... Broom... broom broommm boomm....

And guess what... Jay said.. "PaPa, this is Airplane, and Helicopter??"

"Yes, Jay... next time, when you grown up, and go reservist, please ask the government and army, why they have to fly so low and make so much noise..."

Jay answered... "OH..."... he mumbled "Airplan & Helicopter"... then he felt a sleep...

That night, the thunder keeps on, but Jay did not wake up anymore...

The next day, thunder continue... and Jay knew it was "Airplan and Helicopter flying low..."...

I know, it is not good to bluff you kid like that... I think I want him to be good, and not to be afraid by these little loud thunder sound.. so, no choice... I am glad that it works... He will understand when he grew up... :)

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Comparison: Jay Vs Kay

When baby Kay was born, we were very glad that the first thing we noticed, is baby Kay's features looks almost 99% like Jay.

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We took the above picture when Jay Jay was first born. He was sleeping soundly. (first month of Jay)

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This is baby Kay when he is about 8 days old. You can see a lot of similarity between the two brothers. I will keep on doing my comparison on week by week, so to see how these two brothers going to grow into the same face. hahaha and my next project is to select a few photos from Jay's library, and then dress baby Kay the same as in the photos and then do the comparison. It will be fun!!!

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Stay tune...