Don't Force Your Kid to Follow You or Your Dream

Date:  Sep 25, 2011

Jay Jay took his violin lesson at Elite Music @ Sultan Plaza.

The admin lady there said, "Jay Jay is a good kid."

I said "Why so?"

She said "Compare to the little girl in the class before Jay, Jay Jay is a very good kid, and easy to teach, and teacher Leong likes him a lot."

I said "Oh, what's wrong with the little girl?  Is it the little girl with the very pretty mommy?"

She said "Ya... that one.  But her daughter is very naughty.  Always run here and there, don't want to learn seriously, and talk back to the teacher.  So, teacher Leong always  have to scould her."

Then, I asked the real question "So, does her mom force her to learn violin?"

She said "Oh, I don't know.  Possbile."

I asked "How old is the girl?"

She said "Don't know?  May be 6-7 years old?"

I said "We did not force Jay Jay to take up this violin lesson.  It all started on one fine day, where Jay Jay asked his mommy to buy a 'Guiter'.  so, mommy went to toy shop buy a toy guiter.  And Jay Jay then put the guiter on his shoulder.  Then, we asked, that is not how you will play a guitar.  Jay said, yes.  That is when we reliaze that he wanted to learn violin.  so, we enrolled him at this Elite Music school.  And the most funny thing is, both mommy and daddy does not have any musical cells, we do not listen to lots of music, we did not went to any music class before, and we definitely not knowing violing."

She listen to my story, and is very amaze about Jay Jay.

Then, I continue "In order to keep to the pace, as a daddy, I bought myself a Ukelele, and it seems quite easy to handle as it has only 4 strings.  The most importantly, is I have to learn music, and hopefully I can learn faster than Jay so that I can answer any question he possibly have."

We both laugh...

Later, outside the class room, there was this couple watching their daughter learning flute.  Again, the mommy opened the door, and say "I am standing outside, I saw what you did.  You talk too much, need to focus."

A while later.  The teacher came out after the lesson.

Teacher said "I am still trying to teach her and make her get the idea of blowing the flute.  It will need sometime for her to get the hang of it."

So, given the story above, there are many parents really sending their kids to enrichment class simply because they "think" their kids will have the same gene and hobby as them, and some even wanted their kids to follow their footsteps.  Some may have the dream, to become a musician, but never fulfill the dream, and they wanted to expose their kids to music.

So, my view is... Please don't force your kid to follow you and your dream. They are not you.  Forcing them is not a good way.  Sometimes you should expose them to all kinds of things, and let them tell you what they want to learn.  That is very important!

2 years ago, I enroll Jay into Tennis class.  After half a year, I think I finally realize that Jay does not like tennis at all.  I have learned my lesson too.

So, at the moment, Jay is taking violin lesson which is a request out from his own little mind.  And he is also taking Swimming classes where he wanted to learn how to swim.  And since these are both his hobby and his interest and he requested for them, he is learning well in these two hobby.